The keyword that heats up social media before and after the holidays is undoubtedly ‘conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.’
The friction that arises when two women raised in different environments are bound together under the name of ‘family’ can sometimes become an unbearable poison.By reconstructing an old folktale in a modern way, I would like to talk about a miraculous method to heal the poison within my heart and restore relationships.
Once upon a time, in a certain village, there was a daughter-in-law named Ji-young for whom every day was like hell due to conflict with her mother-in-law. Jiyoung's heart was already completely burned out by her mother-in-law, who interfered and criticized her at every turn. Eventually, Jiyoung went to see an elderly doctor of traditional Korean medicine, renowned in the village for his expertise, and begged him in tears. "Sir, please let me live without seeing that old man. Please prescribe at least some poison that I can get rid of without anyone knowing." The doctor's peculiar prescription: "Six Months of Devotion." Unexpectedly, the doctor nodded and handed her a bag of medicinal herbs.
"This is a medicine that spreads slowly through your body. However, there is a condition.
To avoid suspicion, you must serve your mother-in-law like a queen for the next six months.
serve delicious meat dishes every day, and smile at any criticism, replying, 'Mother, you are right.'
Only then will you not be suspected even after your mother-in-law passes away."
Jiyoung gritted her teeth for revenge and began her act.
She prepared nourishing meals with great care every day and bowed respectfully even to her mother-in-law's nagging.
As time passed, something amazing happened.
The mother-in-law, who used to only spout barbed words, began to change.
Impressed by her daughter-in-law's devoted care and obedience, the mother-in-law boasted to everyone in the neighborhood, "My daughter-in-law is the best," and began to cherish Jiyoung like her own daughter.By the time six months were almost up, Jiyoung, terrified, went to see the acupuncturist again. "Elder, please save my mother-in-law! Please stop the medicine I gave her. Now, my mother-in-law is like a real mother to me!" "Where was the true poison?" The doctor smiled and answered. "Don't worry. What you gave me was just a nutritional supplement good for the body. The real poison was in your heart. But since the fake love you bestowed melted that poison first, now only fragrant medicine remains between the two of you." There is still some left.
This story is not a simple folktale emphasizing filial piety.
It demonstrates 'Mirroring' and the 'Law of Reciprocity,' which are also emphasized in modern psychology.
The only way to detoxify the poison of resentment: It is not about waiting for the other person to change, but about strategically changing your own attitude first.
Actions govern emotions: Even if it was 'acting' at first, repeated good deeds change the brain's circuits and actually elicit positive feelings toward the other person.
The best revenge is 'peace of mind': The heart that hates someone ultimately destroys itself first.
Stopping hatred is a choice made not for the other person, but to save yourself.
If you are currently suffering from conflict with someone, take a moment to ask yourself.
Am I harboring 'poison' directed at the other person within my heart?
The most powerful weapon to change someone might not be blame, but calculated kindness and sincere consideration.
