Have you ever been hurt by a relationship with someone?
Or have you ever blamed yourself, wondering, "Why am I like this?"
Here, an old gentleman sits beside us, having traveled across 2,500 years of time.
A man who loved 'learning' itself rather than flowery titles—that is Confucius.
He is not merely the founder of Confucianism. He was a great counselor who pondered how to navigate the waves of life in the most authentic way possible.
The core keyword Confucius proclaimed throughout his life is just one: 'Ren (仁).'
Take a look at the shape of the characters. It looks like two 'In' (人) characters combined.
"You cannot be happy alone. A warm gaze toward others ultimately completes you."
The reason Koreans are particularly full of 'Jeong' (affection) is likely because this spirit of 'In' flows in our blood. Confucius says:
It is not grand sacrifices, but that small heart that cherishes the people by your side that is the beginning of changing the world.
We live in an era of infinite competition these days. However, the learning Confucius spoke of is a little different.
He said, "Is it not a joy to learn and practice from time to time?"
The learning referred to here is not test scores or certifications.
It speaks of the joy of 'growth,' the process of becoming a slightly better person than the self of yesterday.
Confucius whispers to us, exhausted from job hunting and work stress:
"Do not study to show off to others, but study to fill your inner self."
We sometimes think of 'propriety' as a tedious constraint. However, Confucius thought differently.
'Propriety' is the minimum **'safe distance of the mind'** that prevents us from hurting each other.
The reason we get hurt in relationships with colleagues or conversations with family is because those boundaries have been broken.
The way to be respected yourself by respecting others. Confucius already knew that this was the path to true freedom.
Do not do to others what you would not want done to yourself. It is the Golden Rule of relationships.
Learn from the past to understand the present. Find the answers for tomorrow in your past experiences. The trials you have endured will surely become wisdom.
A gentleman is not a vessel.Do not confine yourself to a single vessel. You are an infinite possibility to become anything. Confucius's philosophy is not confined within stuffy scriptures. Confucius lives and breathes in the heart that yields a seat to the elderly and infirm on the subway, in the tears that sincerely empathize with a friend's sorrow, and in the touch of hands turning pages while dreaming of a better tomorrow.
