There are moments in life when terrible loneliness sets in.

When the person who should be closest to us feels like the most distant wall in the world, we often waver. Today, through the heartbreaking confession of one person,

I would like to talk about what the true values ​​we should have protected were.

The husband who hid behind the fortress wall, and the approaching shadow

My husband, who believed sincerity was merely a virtue, had, before I knew it, hidden behind the fortress of work and success.

The long nights when we were lonely even when together, and the dawn I greeted alone in the empty living room felt nothing but cold. It was then that a man from the neighboring house offered his side.

His kindness was like welcome rain after a drought, and he gradually filled the void left by my husband.

I wanted to believe that it was love, the only escape that would save me from this agonizing loneliness. But that sweet warmth was a poisoned mirage.

The truth faced with a roar that shattered the silence

The air of that day, which had feigned tranquility, was torn apart by the sharp sound of a door opening.

My husband's furious gaze, and the people who burst in. In the midst of the chaos, the person I instinctively embraced was not my husband, but the very person who had exploited my loneliness.

"Blame only me, because it is my fault!"

Even in that moment, I mistook it for a noble sacrifice.

Even in the face of my husband's taunts and the cold declaration of divorce, I firmly believed that this person by my side would support me.

However, that trust was utterly shattered by a single word.

The most cruel betrayal by the person I trusted the most

In a moment of crisis, the words that came from the mouth of the man I tried to protect butchered my soul.

He did not treat me as a person of dignity. I realized, through his cruel tone, that he was merely a tool to relieve his inferiority complex regarding my husband, and an object of amusement to be enjoyed lightly and then discarded.

The moment I realized that all the affectionate whispers and comfort he had offered were a play to mock me, my mind went completely blank.

The fingertips trembled as I slapped my cheek, and a belated wave of shame washed over me, but it was already too late; everything had crossed the point of no return.

A hospital room reeking of disinfectant, a soul left alone

The incident came to a halt on the cold bed in the hospital room. On one side lay my wounded husband, and on the other lay the man wrapped in bandages.

The man's wife, who had come for a visit, looked at me with eyes full of hatred and left, and only the sighs and tears of both sets of parents, who had rushed over belatedly, filled the air.

My mother-in-law's cold indifference and my father's heavy silence. And the embrace of my mother, who held me and wept as I hung my head like a sinner. In that warm embrace of my mother, I finally realized.

That what I threw away using loneliness as an excuse was not just a simple married life, but the world of those who looked at me completely.

About What We Have Lost

My husband now treats me like an invisible person, staring only out the window.

The man beside me, breathing mechanically, is now nothing but a stranger with no connection to me whatsoever.

What is harder to bear than the legal troubles ahead and the stinging gaze of the world is the terrible self-reproach for failing to protect myself.

Loneliness comes to everyone. However, we must distinguish whether the hand we hold to soothe that loneliness is a hand that will protect us, or a hand that will push us to the edge of a cliff.

Tonight, when the sound of my mother's weeping has become my only companion, I spend a long time of repentance, gathering up the fragments of shattered trust one by one.